Naukrani: Malkin aap udaas kyon hain?
Malkin: Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyaar karte hai.
Naukrani: Nahin, sahab mujhe dhokha nahin de sakte

1980 girls: Mom mei Jeans pehanungi
Mom : Nahin beti log kya kahengey?
Todays girls: Mom mein mini skirt pehanungi
Mom: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan le!

Girl's excuses: Phone mat kiya karo dear, mom hai near, papa se lagta hai fear, baat nahin hoti hai clear.
Isliye SMS kiya karo dear without fear and very clear

Y does Waheeda Rehman never changes her saree in the film GUIDE?
Coz Dev Anand says: O mere humrahi, meri baanh thame chalna, badle duniya SARI, tum na badalna.

Narad Muni dharti par daru peene aaye,
12 botal pilane k baad dukan wala: Apko chadhti kyun nahi ?
Narad: Main Bhagwaan Hoon.
Theke wala: Chad gayi saley ko.

Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to.
Mashook: Ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye main doobonga to sahara dega

Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?
Beti: Kuch nahin... Maa banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?
Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.

Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai

Paani mein Whiskey milao to nasha hota hai
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha hota hai
Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha hota hai
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai

Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVA
Phir likha: SHUBH LABH
Phir likhne lage: U R WELCOME
Aur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN

Baniye ki wife bimaar thi, light nahi thi to candle jala di aur bola: Doctor ko lene jaa raha hun, agar tumhe lage ki tum nahin bachogi to plz candle bujha dena

Jab apka SMS ata hai mera rom machal jata hai
Sara badan kaamp jata hai
Dil main gudgudi hoti hai
Stupid, yeh apka kasoor nahi, mera phone Vibrator per hota hai

Ladkiwale Ladke se: Tum nonveg khatey ho?
Ladka: Ha
Sharaab?
Ha
Drugs?
Ha
Jua?
Ha
Sab kuch negative hai, kuch positive bhi hai kya?
Ladka: Haanji, HIV Positive

Bahu: Maji, yeh abhi tak nahin aaye, kahin kisi dusri ladki ke saath...
Saas: Arey kalmuhi, tu hamesha ulta kyun sochti hai? kisi truck ke niche aa gaya hoga to

Train ka TT Sadhu se: Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu: Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
Ticket hai?
Sadhu: Nahin
Chalo
Sadhu: Kahan?
Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein