Funny Jokes

What All Those Acronyms Really Mean

ISDN = It Still Does Nothing APPLE = Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity IBM = I Blame Microsoft DEC = Do Expect Cuts CA = Constant Acquisitions CD-ROM = Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months OS/2 = Obsolete Soon, Too. SCSI = System Can't See It DOS = Defunct Operating System BASIC = Bill's Attempt to … Continue Reading

Big Glass of Water

One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn't been feeling well lately. The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor said, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue … Continue Reading

999 Call

A man called 999 and spoke frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" Man Says "Is this her first child?" the dispatcher asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"

How it felt to give birth

After going through Lamaze, Leboyer, and La Leche classes with his expectant wife, the proud new father remained by her bedside throughout the labour delivery and wanting to be as sympathetic as possible, he took his wife's hand afterward and said emotionally. "Tell, me how it was, darling, how it actually felt to give birth." … Continue Reading

Thirty-thousand Cockroaches

A housewife called up a pet store, "Send me thirty-thousand cockroaches at once." asked housewife. "What in the world do you want with thirty-thousand cockroaches?" asked the astonished clerk. "Well," replied the woman, "I am moving today and my lease says I must leave the premises in exactly the same condition I found them."

No Bull

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case … Continue Reading