Funny Jokes

Driving home very drunk

It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before … Continue Reading

Fun Things to do in an Office

1. Stand at the washroom door carrying a baseball bat and ask everyone in a low voice if they washed their hands. 2. Gnaw on your mouse, make cat noises, and lick your hands from time to time. 3. Walk into people's offices, taking a careful look around. Talk into your shirt, saying 'No sign … Continue Reading

Can you give me a push?

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud poundingon the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger stands in the pouring down rain. "Can you give me a push?" he asks while hanging onto the door frame. "Not a chance" … Continue Reading

Employee want ad translations

Energetic self-starter: You'll be working on commission. Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law. Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of this. Fast learner: You will get no training from us. Flexible work hours: You will frequently work long overtime hours. Good organisational skills: … Continue Reading

Flying Dog

A woman is out looking for a pet, and so she's trying the local pet shops. She walks into a small pet shop and explains her need to the attendant. He thinks for a moment and then says, "I've got just the thing for you madam. I'll just get him." With that, he disappears into … Continue Reading

Working Team

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." … Continue Reading